Turning a Negative into a Positive

I do believe there are some psychological theories which are important to remember when dealing with these situations. I suppose this would relate the closest to personality based psychology, with the study of the differences and likenesses of everyone's personalities. You can also tie in some social psychology as well.

Are people talking in a negative way to garner attention?
Are the people simply venting and need an outlet?
Is the reaction proactive or reactive?

There are variables to the persuasion as well. Think, who said what to who and how.

You have Communicators who uses credibility, expertise and trustworthiness to persuade. You have the Message using reason, emotion (e.g. anger or fear), arguments, and other types of informational content. The Audience, what is the message targeting? And the Channel or how it's being presented, via print, speech, etc.

If you can use some of those theories to help dissect the problem and in turn come up with a solution, it may turn a negative persona into a positive one.

How do you approach someone who is hostile, well simply put you can't meet them with hostility. You'd need to approach them with some sort of understanding, almost like a hostage negotiator would.

Respect what people have to say. Even if they can only voice concerns with negativity. If they really don't care they probably would look to discuss their concerns somewhere else. If you approach the person with respect, the chances are this will be reciprocated. Sometimes you have to give a little respect to get some respect.

Listen to what has to be said. Don't look to talk over or point out the bad things, try to listen and understand how something is affecting that person. How is it making them feel? Sometimes regurgitating what's being said shows signs that you are listening. Try using what they have said in a response back to them.

Be helpful. If someone is negative because they are frustrated that they can't find the answers they are looking for we should try to help them find the answers. Making sure that their voice is heard and providing the help that we can, helps soothe dejected feelings.

People have names. Try to use their name when applicable. Online especially when you can easily fade into a crowd, having a face and a name can make a difference in diffusing a bad situation. You won't be on a first name basis with everyone but if you say "Hey X, I was wondering why you were doing X" it comes across as being much more personable than "I was wondering why you were doing X". Typically you'll have a greater chance of having a positive reaction after making such an effort. You shouldn't use someone's name to call them out in a situation however; this will only drive a wedge between you and that person. It can also lead to some very jaded feelings.

Follow through on what you say. This is simple but time and time again we fail to deliver what we promise. Following through on what we say can only build trust in a community. It's especially true when the negativity comes from distrust. No, we're not politicians, but a promise is a promise, and we should respect players enough to follow through on our promises.

Exude calm and positive solutions. If we stoop to a level where we don't show that we're calm and positive it will only feed the fire. In a virtual world where you can easily misread something, having clear and concise answers that are worded appropriately is imperative. Positivity counts too, try talking about a positive instead of a negative. Think of it as what you can do as opposed to what you can't do.

Responsibility

Ok, first everyone say it with me re-spon-si-bil-i-ty. Need help trying to pronounce it? ri-"spän(t)-s&-'bi-l&-tE. Responsibility, so what does that really mean? The quality or state of being responsible: as moral, legal, or mental accountability. My friends over at Miriam-Webster were kind enough to provide that bit of help with this early segment.

Now it’s really simple be accountable for your actions, more and more we’re just not seeing people in society live up to the expectation to be responsible. Be it kids not picking up their toys, to grown adults not taking care of their paternal responsibilities, this sort of social dysfunction isn’t healthy.

This strikes me as an interesting topic as someone I know is going through a difficult time. She is with child yet the person who is supposed to be there with her elected to not marry her due to pressure from his family. This is not a young gentleman either, he’s past his 20’s and frankly the guy doesn’t have his life together.

So let’s rewind just a tad. The gentleman lives at home with his parents, doesn’t have a full time job, and from what I understand does not have a degree yet. He’s cordial and seems like a nice guy but it just seems as thought he can’t make a decision for himself. His parents run his life and when he was pressured by them to not get married, he buckled (from what I understand they were going to withdraw financial support, food, and lodging).

Now when in the course of human events (we’ve heard that one before…) there comes a time in which you have to bite the proverbial bullet and just get it done. That takes some courage but it’s also you being responsible. Only you can make the right choices for yourself, but considers others first. It’s almost like the “Golden Rule” but sometimes that impact reaches much longer and wider than just worrying about what happens to you.

Be responsible, be considerate and maybe just maybe the world will be a little brighter for everyone.

Super Size Me - Super Review

Since it was required in class to write a review on Super Size Me I thought I would post it just for fun...Keep in mind I did have to answer a few questions as asked by the professor.

To start things off Super Size Me was a compelling story told by Morgan Spurlock who takes a McDonald’s eating binge for a month to show off its negative side effects.

The film provided a very real and educational look at what can happen if someone partakes in the indulgence of 3 square meals a day at a friendly neighborhood McDonald’s. The movie hit home for me due to the nature of the content and it’s something we see every day. It does make you realize that not only is the food unhealthy for you but it also is something that can shorten your life by many strides.

The realistic nature of Morgan being an average guy who was in good health before eating all the McDonald’s meals shows in shocking detail what can happen and that’s what makes the movie so profound.

All this was not met without some negatives, the lack of detail on some of the situations and scenarios left me a little disenchanted. It would have been nice to see what exactly Morgan did to get back on track with his healthy lifestyle that he once led. By showing others what exactly he did could provide a glimpse on what can be done to reverse the negative effects of the binge eating that occurred.

Now what 5 things stood out in this movie? Well for starters, yes fast food is bad for you! The marketing campaigns that these fast food companies run do target the youth of America which is heartbreaking in a way because they are the future of this country and you don’t want the future to be unhealthy. The education is not out there in America on how to eat healthy, all the while big companies who promote fast foods can spend many times more money on their ads. Contrary to popular belief not always is a salad good for you, as shown in the premium salad at McDonald’s. And finally, portion control is well, out of control. The fact remains that portions were a great deal smaller in times long past. Add to that fact that in other countries the portions are quite a bit smaller for soda, fries, and other items on the McDonald’s menu and that just emphasizes the American term “Super Size Me”.

The film did leave short the long road ahead of Morgan, where we could have seen what he had to go through just to get back to his ideal weight. Knowing how easy it is to pack on the pounds is one thing, but something more compelling might have shown how hard it was for Morgan to loose that weight.

The film is something that could bring to light the cold reality of the eating habits we have here in America to our most important asset, the nation’s youth. By showing the youth of America early on the problems associated with eating unhealthy food as shown in this movie, we can help educate them into making better, healthier, food choices when presented with unhealthy options. I mean, when was the last time when you heard a child refuse a Chicken McNugget?

So in all I would recommend this film as required watching for anyone who is overweight or even those who eat out many times during the week. Helping educate the nation on healthier eating is something that will only benefit our society. It’ll allow folks to lead healthier happier lives, and may cut down on the road rage just a bit since less people will be on the road attempting to cram into an overcrowded drive through.

So where the hell have you been?

Ive been asked this a couple times from numerous people and contrary to popular belief I havent vanished from the face of the earth. Well simply put Ive been busy with quite a few things and simply havent had the appropriate time to dedicate to making a blog worth reading.
Im thinking of updating less frequently than I did before (once a day on the weekdays) but more frequently than I have in the past month (none). So finding a happy median shouldnt be too hard to find.
What have I been up to for the past month you ask? Well aside from work, Ive been working on some video editing projects, which I will say are fun but codec problems with media players are the bane of my existence at the moment. Oh and Im taking some online college courses to further my studies.

Now what else was there, oh yeah 4th of July. What a bright idea it is to only have a few firework places where the mass public can gather around and cause massive traffic jams, drink publicly, and generally act unruly. If you cant tell the sarcasm in reading that then my apologies and I was being sarcastic. I was traveling through downtown when the fireworks started to go off (yeah I know not the brightest thing in the world). I ended up in a parking lot which I thought I could get out of. Needless to say there ended up being a wall of cars blocking off the exit of the parking lot with all the occupants of the cars either inside or even outside of their cars oogling over the fireworks.

No, this wasnt as fun as I thought but what comes next wasI took my car a sedan mind you off road backing out, since the geniuses behind me decided to park and jump out of their cars to observe the fireworks. Backing out was touchy at times with 2 wheels off road over a curb and 2 on the paved road. I was able to back out and get going home just as the final barrage of fireworks dissipated in the nights sky.

Driving home there was some traffic but not too bad. Unfortunately the person in front of me upon attempting to merge onto the freeway got cold feet and stopped right there. I paused for a moment and thought What would possess someone to just stop in the middle of the onramp? Well as soon as I saw a break in the traffic I stomped on the gas and took off like a bat out of hell, sorry lack of creative verbal expression there.

I made it home safe and sound seeing as I am typing to you all now. And the moral of the storywell I cant think of one but Ill let you know when I do...

Just Because...

I decided to make this post just to check in and say that I haven't forgotten about blogging, it's just been busy!

Flashback Friday: The Princess Bride

There are few movies that I can watch more than once that I truly enjoy; The Princess Bride is one of them. This movie really has something for everyone, action, adventure, some comedy, and romance. Now you may not recall watching it when it was first released back in 1987 but I’m sure you remember watching it more recently…Yes it still qualifies for Flashback Friday…

A young Fred Savage pre-Wonder Years offers up a little child like humor to the movie as his grandpa reads the story. With every mention of a kiss the cut seen would come up with a cringing face of Fred Savage groaning eeew.

There are so many moments in the movie that you just have to stop for a moment and laugh, like the part with the Sicilian who thinks he could outsmart anyone in a game of wits. The Dread Pirate Roberts quickly pops out poison in the form of white powder and Vizzini provides the wine. Needless to say he was mistaken to think he could outsmart the clever Dread Pirate and the poison ended up in his cup.

The Ending of the story is what I would recall as a happy ending putting everything in it's place where it needs to be. Inigo has his date with revenge, Westley his duel to the pain, and he ends up with the girl. I won't go further into the details incase you would like to relive memories.

With the memorable moments abundant and the popularity of the movie still gaining with new generations watching the tale of The Princess Bride will always be pleasurable. The movie to me as well as many others will remain a classic in our media libraries for many years to come. So since I probably piqued your interest why wait? Make Friday a movie night and watch it today!

Driving Manners

All too often I find myself wondering why people are so anxious to get from point A to point B, C, or even D. In the midst of the swerving, finger waving, and general taunting we make our ways to our destination sometimes more frustrated than relieved. The unfortunate circumstance of over crowded areas and lack of general mannerisms taught.

There really is no good reason why you should not respect other drivers, in other countries this isn’t a problem however in America this seems to be a growing issue. One look at the news from Los Angeles and the threat of road rage is all too apparent. It’s an unfortunate circumstance when tempers run high and patience runs low. It’s true everyone has somewhere to go, hence the reason why they are on the freeway but wouldn’t it be a more pleasurable journey if others exhibited decency and mannerisms while driving?

I’m one to think that there’s just too much stress and people get detached from knowing what relaxation is. Everything nowadays seems to ultimately say hurry up and stop. If we were to stop for a moment, take a deep breath, relax, and just appreciate things for a moment, I know things wouldn’t feel so hectic.

Perhaps we just need more time off, as it is in other countries there are more break times and vacation days available for working. Is America comprised of a bunch of work-a-holics? It quite possibly could be, but it’s important to know your limits both mentally and physically. Take a break once in a while, enjoy the finer things. As Bruce Lee said “It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.”